What a weekend.

Alright, so I've been laggin' it on the updates. I've just been tired, and lazy I guess. This week has been boring. I'd love to replay last weekend, love love being with the entire fambam. Sister's wedding was amazing :) Hahah it was quite interesting. In "celebration" after the wedding and going to the reception in the limo, my brother literaly made the limo driver stop by the liquor store HAHA :) Patrone patrone patrone, my bro g0t the coffee one tho. A lil strong, but satisfying :) Then when we got to the reception, the bridal room literaly slipped my mind from months ago when my sister was booking the place. So when my sister said, "OK guys, to the bridal room!" I was like, huh. BUT, then I remembered haha. Filled with more drinks, cheese, HAHA cheese. Idk I <3 cheese. But then in more celebration, some pineapple vodka, then some other drink, haha damn ! I felt a lil buzzed, great for a reception. Then I stuck with my fruity mojitos :d Fave ! Mine and my partner's grand entrance was the shiiiiiit, my sis has good taste in music, she picked I Know You Want Me by Pitbul, SHIT ! HAHA the best !! Hopefully when those pics come in, I'll post 'em up. Mmmm then after the wedding, chilled, A.C (of course..), Philly, parties, mm. I miss em already ! See em again in 3 years, when my bro gets married, by then I'll be done with H.S and be on the road ! Uh-oh...HAHAHA ! Pictures :)

Haha, so much more, too lazy, they're all on my facebook anyways. Great weekend, I'd replay it if I could haha ! Ugh, I think my brother comes back from jail today. Unfair, it hasnt even been a full month ! I PRAY and HOPE and WISH he wont be coming back for a long long long time. I just keep hoping right now. On the other hand, I know how to do a magic trick ! I can make a coin dissapear then re-appear :D Woohoo ! <3

Wait, get your facts straight yeah?

These past blog entries come quite obvious that it's about a stupid boy. MOST people can tell who it is, if you know me. But honey, it ain't to you. You, as in the one I only went out with for a week. I don't mean to offend you, but sweetie I ain't stressin' ONE bit over you. I'll admit yeah, I think, you were a waste. Cute, good looks, sweet swag, but you just couldn't handle who I was or how I am. And I felt tied down when I was with you, plus it's like you don't know how to respect. Pushin' my sister who has a child to take me out? If you can't respect my family, sure as hell I won't have any respect for you. But truthfully, I haven't blogged 'bout your ass since..since..damn! Uh, hahaha! I blogged about you on here but I deleted them when we broke it off. Naw..naw. Nope nope nope! Ahah, so anyways!

Lifes been aiiight. It's finals week, so major studying. This is the time where you regret, as in you could've studies a lil' harder, tried a lil harder, blah blah. I'm good at school, I just get lazy -_- Shit. Haha thats alright. Just gotta get 'em over with!

Now, to the real situation..I can't stand you sometimes. Yeah I'll bring up the past, I will, why? Because I've dealt with the pain your problems have given me. The hurt, the tears, yeahh. And then you get mad at me, annoyed, saying all I do is bring up problems. Well hows it feel, you brought up problems for me too when you did that shit! Yeah, never realized it like that huh. Thats what I hate 'bout you, you just don't get it. If I dealt with it time after time, especially since you know you've done wrong countless of times, I thought you could deal with me just bringing it up. Wow, I guess not. Whatever, that's just worthless to me. I'm out, deuces.

That's what I get

When I let my heart win. "Woah oh ooh oh oh"
Hahahaa :)

Nah. But I've come to some of my realizations. Sometimes, following your heart is just coming from missing someone, or missing a significant other, or missing what used to be. That's why you feel like your heart is yelling at you, saying, "go back to him, he's the one" - wrong. Technically, what your heart is really doing is it's not accustomed to being by "itself", or loved by somebody else. That's basically what I've learned.

I haven't been with a lot of guys, I choose not to for my various and true to self reasons. I don't like giving my heart to just anyone, sure, not necessarily "hard to get", that too, but just the fact that I don't wanna just hand it like nothing. I do have respect for my heart, 'matter fact. I've only been with a few, 1 I can say that actually felt real for a long moment in time. Now, I'm solo, mmmmm. Truthfully tho', I really want someone. Okay, that comes out weird for me, I just want them goodlovin' times. No, not some boy who just wants me for my goodies, not a boy who does all he does just to get in my pants, no. Someone with real lovin'. I've got a lot to offer, only for one whose up for it. Then again, I'm just fine being alone, waiting for the right person will be worth it somehow later on. At least I'm thankul, throuhought this past year I've learned to satisfy myself, be by myself, not needing any guy to make me happy. But still, it'd be nice, yeah? No doubt every girl wants a sweet boy, honestly. It's just this society has become so accustomed to the assholes, it's like girls are starting to accept it 'cos it's like, "Eh what the heck, guys won't change might as well just forget it" - but I'm good thanks. Honestly, I just want a relationship like my sister has. Random much! Haaha :) Nope, but I am really inspried by her and her hubby, I look at them and wish one day I can have what she has. Cheesy much?! :D Hahahahahaha wow I'm corny. But it's true! Oh, Lordy :) Whatever, for now I'll just sit tight, live my life accordingly, & whatevs. Deuces <3

Fucked up day, fucked up everything.

No shit, I'm having the worst day f'reaal. FUCKING SUCKS ASS. I'm out of it, I'm pissed, I'm upset, I'm hurt, I'm just fucking fed up. I could really use a big ass gallon of ice cold blue Gatorade. Funny thing is, it ain't people. except one in particular, it's just me and my doings that are making me so so so, ugh, whatever! This is all killing me, this day is just the worst. The absolute worst :( For the first time, I broke out crying in school today, in private with besteezy of course. The only one that's really there for me, and I just passed a certain someone at the exact moment too who exactly shuns me the fuck off. It was the fucking best, just the best. YOU my friend are the best. Yeah I know I shunned you off, I sent you the longest text of saying sorry last night, and it's my fault now so whatever I can't even begin to explain how that made my day worse. All I wanted now was to be good with you, I even attempted looking for you after lunch, then after 8th period, NOWHERE to be found. I texted you periods before that as well, NOTHING. My day accordingly:

- Phone disconnected on me 5th period, cos mom forgot to pay.
- Took me fucking 15 minutes to text on 3 different people's phones today, all for a specfic someone.
- Library was closed, couldn't complete project.
- ^ Because it was closed, I had to work on it during 7th period, which caused me not to be able to finish my review worksheet, which ended up being collected and graded.
(& if you're gonna ask why I didn't work on it the night before, I DID my part, I was in a group and needed everyone's information to paste on the board, given 2 days to complete a long ass project. I planned to do it in the library, stress fucking free, but no, closed, which risked my grade to go LOWER in algebra)
- I have a fucking D in algebra, and it's gonna stay 'cos my teacher isn't counting the final exam into our final 4th quarter grade. GREAT!
- We ended up having to present on Monday, WOW!!!!!!!!!
- Called my mom to pick me up from school, made me wait fucking 20 minutes just standing there.
- Go into my fucking room to RELAX, I open the door to my room to see SHIT SHIT SHIT, brother's clothes, luggages, cabinets, ALL INSIDE MY ROOM. My mom is re-painting my brother's room since he got locked up, and while they're painting it, ALL HIS SHIT IS IN MY FUCKING ROOM.

WHATTHEFUCK.

I'm sick of this. I'm sick of everything. I hate this.

I'm ready to just break down, I wanna cry so bad but my rooms invaded with all this shit taking up every part of my room I can't even walk in it. This is great. The best, the fucking best.