miss you crazy, crazy. i mean, us.

sometimes, i forget how it`s not that i miss you, i miss us. us, and what we once were together. don`t get it twisted, i`m glad we`re friends :) yeah, but, friends ? when just about 5 months ago we were about 2 years and some months into our relationship ? oh yeah, you know, when we were once upon a time in the strongest relationship. yep, that`s right, it was me & you baby. i tend to get into deep thought whenever it crosses my mind. our laughter, the kisses, the kisses through the phone, the hugs, the piggyback rides, surprises. everything. we had it all. looking back, we were just the best of friends. i always told you, "you`re not just my boyfriend, you`re my best friend", time after time i told you that. whether it was on the phone, or when i was right in your arms. which is the one place i used to always do anything to be in, hah. sometimes we take a risk when we fall in love. when you & i broke apart, a friendship was somehow lost. regardless if we`re talking now, i know it`s not the same. it was the friendship that was also bonded by the love we had created, and the love that grew stronger month by month. yes we got into shit, but what healthy relationship didn`t ? i had the jealousy issues, you knew it, causing you to hide things from me because you thought it`d hurt my feelings. oh boy, it goes on. i can`t describe the feeling or emotion i get when i remember our past relationship and basically what we had. it`s a mix of happiness, aggrevation, annoyance, & joy. but more than that, it kinda makes me sad. i miss us, you just don`t know. there`s a difference here. it`s not that i`m asking to be with you, right here and now. no. i want the past. not now. our past relationship is what i miss, not just wanting to be with you anytime. i know you don`t think about it the same time i do, but i know you think about it. it`s weird to say, but we grew up together. watched eachother grow, and mature. you, from you're 8th grader self, and me, from my little 6th grade phases. although we are 2 years apart, age ain`t nothing but a number. from the time i had no braces, to getting them on, then getting them off, you`ve been around. i still remember people planning our "wedding" for us. heh, i was what, in 7th grade ? & you were a freshman. we had the "ninangs" & "ninongs" asking for their place for our future child and wedding. WTF ! haha :) oh, what a life it was back then. the friends we had, the people that surrounded us. and the people that were inspired by our relationship. yep, i still recall our relationship proving to people that love did exist, and no matter the troubles one relationship consisted of, if the bond was really meant to be there, you could get through any obstacle. but who am i to say that now ? it`s been a long time since our relationship. i miss it though, i miss it more than anything. it hurts so bad sometimes, that we lost it all. the 2 and a half years, all broken apart. as monica once told me, "yeah, it sucks. the bridges 2 people built, and then it all just, falls apart".